Life is crazy. Literally! I am now a full 2 months into my internship and am already a new person because of it. I have learned so much about the mentally ill, the homeless, the abused, myself, and human nature in general. There are two ways we express pain as humans: we hurt ourselves or someone else. I am working with 2 different populations within the hospital: adults incompetent to stand trial and adolescents who have been so aggressive or self-abusive to be kicked out of every other group home or probational setting. Looking at both populations is like looking at human nature through a microscope. Their behaviors and defense mechanisms are so extreme, but if you look at "normal" individuals you will see that we all use the same coping skills; their environments are just more stressful and cause them to take it to the extreme. I have learned so much about my own defense mechanisms. I wrote a song based on my experiences here. I haven't really gotten to share the lyrics with too many, so I'll share them here. Basically it starts out and ends with the adult perspective and flashes back to their childhood and represents the children. I may only write part because we are about to film a scene for the pilot. I am using the many down time moments as an actor to write to you. My own little coping skill: There's something wrong with the world today and I don't know if I can shake it off The life we're living is a lie and I know why I can't shake it off. Where do I belong before you leave me? Don't I deserve a chance to come back strong? You look at me with condescending eyes like I can't tell that I don't have a home I'm trampled on and I'm sent to jail where doctors fill me up with medicine. Where do I come from, well let me tell you, before you move on. My heart it was just fine before the world caved in on my mind My life as I remember began at the age of 3 I wondered with my brother through the hearts of LA's streets. Then one day I found out a mother's supposed to care for me You can't imagine how I reacted when I found out that I'd be moved from house to house until they found the one Who cares for me just like those mother's care for those other sons and I cried for the first time in my life. Those houses, I remember, were not so nice to me They touched me till I trembled and ran back into the streets A parking garage is where I found my restless solitude Until I reached the age when men wanted more from me and I cried for the last time in my life Then one day it happened, I lost track of the world My mind slipped past the breaking point and delusions gave me worth I carry all that I have gathered from the life I lead and every night I hear another girl cry from the streets Why? There's something wrong with the world today and I'm not sure I can shake it off The life I'm living is a lie and I know why I can't shake it off. Where do I belong before you leave me? Don't I deserve a chance to come back strong? Don't look at me with condescending eyes and remember that I was once a child Instead, reach out to me and maybe we can start to shake things off. | 
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